http://frauleinfrog.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] frauleinfrog.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] what_we_dream 2011-02-27 11:35 pm (UTC)

*carefully skips the last one*

for a band of gorillas still using Cold --> Do you possibly mean guerrillas? XD (Also, I think you posted the last couple of lines in your wip thing, but I haven't seen the beginning before.)

since college that there’s always been I don't think you need "always".
None of those things require require[s]

that destroy away any shadow of the old Again, I don't think you need "away". On a seperate note, that one was short but amazing.

Sometimes Zura, like the stupid credulous idiot he is, tries to write Gintoki’s future on his back. Holy crap, this one stole my heart, alsdkfjgh. ♥♥♥

It’s the fury that’s making him tremble. Really. Ahahaha, oh Donuts, why do I love you so?

of the ceremony: this is because she This is a little weird. I think technically it should be a semi-colon but I think you want it more connected. So I would probably go with a simply "ceremony, because".










Post a comment in response:

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting